For All Fed-Up Mothers and The Naysayers


I’m hoping a mother somewhere can relate to this. It makes me so glad to share an experience happening in my house and then hear another mother say, :Oh, that happens in my house too!” It gives me such comfort to know that my family’s weirdness is at a socially acceptable level.

I’m elated to know it’s not just my daughter who has abandoned her toys for pegs and sufurias; that my husband is in good company when he can’t locate anything in the house even after searching for 76 seconds; that my DM is human after all when she leaves without notice and shows up after a week.

But did you know there is a new breed of people who will almost never see anything right with the way you are bringing up your child? It’s always, “Don’t do that,”

“Do this”

“How could you do that?”

“You should Never do that!”


If I got a penny for every time I have been told how wrong I’m bringing up my baby, I would be living in the presidential suite in Kempisnski. It’s either I’m allowing her to sleep too early or too late or I don’t have a fixed feeding schedule that is why she is a fussy feeder. There are people who will always have an explanation for why your baby is being a baby. She is being a baby because she is a baby. PERIOD.

All babies are different, donge? It is wrong to expect my baby to grow up exactly the way yours did. That is the lesson I have had to learn silently and practice. I will not put my baby under pressure to perform to anybody’s imagined level of growth. Being a mom is learning to make your own decisions,God made you a mom because He knew you could handle it.

My baby girl’s cord took 17 days to drop. I had heard that cords drop after three days or thereabout. So day three came and went  and the cord was still firmly planted on her belly. I comforted myself that it will drop the following day. Day 5 and 6 and 7 came and this thing was not dropping.

That is when you start googling, “after how many days should my baby’s cord drop”. And then google tells me ‘at least 7 days’. I went on a calling rampage, from my mother to her pediatrician. After 17 days, it dropped. I found it lying neatly on her belly when I went to change her diaper.

That ordeal taught me many things, but one stood out. This baby is her on person, she will develop the way her body tells her to. As longs as I’m feeding her properly and keeping her safe and healthy, she will be o.k. She will achieve her milestones at her own pace. And we will not even go into the weighty issue of baby’s weight! That is a heavy matter!

So now when she is still staggering in her walking at 15 months while her ‘agemates’ were stable at 12 months or even less, I feel no pressure at all. I chose instead to see how she has grown so smart, climbing and descending on all surfaces unaided. I choose to see her teeth that are germinating every day, she even has two molars!

I also choose not to ever tell another mother, “Mtoto amechelewa…”

Hakuna cha mtoto kuchelewa! Mothers are hardworking, multi-tasking, sleep deprived machines… umm,..sorry..human beings who need a break they never get. You know you have become a machine when you dose off in the weirdest of places and when going to the toilet is actually a holiday!

So be nice to mothers, give one a hug today. Don’t be judgmental and see all the things she is doing wrong. She is trying all she can to keep that little baby happy and healthy and also keep herself sane.

Happy Easter Y’all!! 🙂