In Defense Of Wedding Committees: Tenda Wema Nenda Zako

For a while now, I have sat down with clenched teeth and a palpitating heart and read blog after blog, facebook post after facebook post of people bashing wedding committees and the people who dare call for them. One time, I was confident enough to comment on a friends blog, I was on the unlucky minority. After a friend called the other day and expressed her concerns over the same, I decided to be bold, against the grain and come out in defense of wedding committees — I hope I will still have friends after this.


We had a wedding committee when we were planning our wedding. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. We didn’t have a heavy budget, but we also didn’t to just move in together because we didn’t have enough money. We explored a few options; my husband had the genius idea of a morning wedding with snacks or an evening wedding. I kept imagining my mom and the entire village coming to Nairobi to drink Softa or Mirinda and queen cakes and it just didn’t sound right. So, to meet our budget of 250k, we organised a wedding committee.

To this day we don ‘t believe we pulled off a great wedding — I know it was great because the people from Meru ate until they were ‘fed up.’ And I can tell you, the people from Meru are rarely fed up with food. You see, I had just completed 2 years of Volunteering in an Christian organisation, and Kamana didn’t have a stable job then. But brother and sister-in-the-Lord had to be married. Friends came and gave beyond what we expected, and we had a great day. And for that I’m eternally grateful.

I lost a few friends in the process. The advice I got was, “call everyone, text everyone.” So I did. Some people weren’t too happy, though they didn’t say it I could tell by how cold they got on facebook or when we met. Many people I had considered friends went MIA on me. I held no grudges, I was too busy planning a wedding on a very thin budget. I accepted everything, it didn’t have to be monetary contribution. Two of my friends got together and bought sodas, someone bought us food, someone gave us money for the cake. It was the greatest show of God’s family holding up their own when we needed them.

I have seen people today get pregnant and go on playing ‘marriage’ until the day when they will get enough money to ‘throw a lavish wedding’. That is not what I want for my friends who are just staring out and just want to do things the right way. I want to see more young people get married properly without breaking the bank. And for a couple who don’t have much but want to do a holy wedding — emphasis on ‘holy’ — I will contribute whatever I’m able to.

Can we stop with this bashing of wedding committees and support the brethren who want to get married. Unless a couple is raising money to fund an extravagant wedding and are ridiculously dictating what you should contribute, just support them with whatever you have. And if you can’t, just go in peace and attend the wedding later, because it will happen whether you give them or not. What do we want them to do? Elope? Come-we-stay? Wait until they can afford it and then sin in the process? People of God, whatever happened to generosity?

Like I have heard it said here many times, “tenda wema nenda zako.” 



11 thoughts on “In Defense Of Wedding Committees: Tenda Wema Nenda Zako

  1. Asante Kambura! Mtu atende wema aende zake. And if you can’t give money, give time and prayers!!

  2. Am glad you talked about this. Reminds me of a conversation we had with my mum and auntie. If someone is willing to walk in holiness it’s only fair to support them as a Christian. You’ll not only do good to them, but you’ll also support God’s work. I mean, weddings are God’s work!

  3. Mercy I agree..
    I attended your wedding n i agree it was big..What r friends for if they cant support two ppl to become one in a holy Matrimony..Even Jesus did his first miracle in a wedding before his time..
    My wedding was also well supported by friends.Indeed some will be sad if they don’t support.
    However,this should be a well nurtured relationship i.e not to just ambush someone asking for a fixed amount of money yet they have never talked to u for like five years..
    Thanks for sharing that.

  4. Tenda wema nenda zako;- totally agree to it. Yesterday I was at a distant cousin’s wedding that took place during the service. Afterwards since they didn’t have cash went back to the church where they received gifts, cut cake and later on had lunch for the bridal team and family. That was a lovely wedding 🙂 We don’t have to break the bank for a lavish thing.

    The church should also help those who desire to stay in godliness in the best way possible.

  5. Agreed. My husband to this day is the chairman of all wedding committees in Eld town …. Sisi hatuchoki kupeana pesa…. Those who complain have other problems ya uchoyo na chuki

  6. looooooooool Kambura, that must have been quite a wedding if they guys from Meru were fed up….this doesnt happen often…

    you killed me @ I kept imagining my mom and the entire village coming to Nairobi to drink Softa or Mirinda and queen cakes

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