This is What Stupidity Looks Like

Things are thick, my people.┬áThick is actually an understatement, things are elephant! At such a time as this, I wish I was Biko Zulu so I can use words that start with an ‘F’ and others that start with an ‘S’ and end with a T without being judged and without being summoned to the Discipline Court (Presbyterians know how horrible it is), because I think people kinda understand that better.

This country of ours is headed south, and the only good thing with South is South Africa — when they are not beheading foreigners. But it is not the politicians who are taking it there. It is not even Ann Waiguru or Tunoi or Kidero or even Moses Kuria. O.k, on second thought, maybe Moses Kuria is leading the team taking us south.

Today Morning, I was at a paints company office to pick walnut vanish for some furniture. Have you noticed how edible paints are looking nowadays? They have these enticing names and colours I didn’t think existed, and trust me we women know all colours even those we don’t know.┬áSo, I’m waiting for my order to come through and suddenly, the office is a market! Soko Mjinga to be precise. Every town has a soko mjinga just like every town has a Marikiti and a Makutano.

What I witnessed is post election violence — without the elections and the machetes. There were machetes, actually, it’s just that they were word-shaped. Khalwale should have been here because this is what bull-fighting looks like. Kenyans were at each other, almost to a brawl point and for what? For who? One was trying to instill sense in the other one who was busy telling us how he was justified in burning an innocent civilian’s car in a demonstration. And he also added that ‘his guy’ is like Jesus. (Insert horrified emoji!)

My mind was taken back to a talk we had with a colleague a few days ago. According to him, my life is way better than his because I’m married to a Kikuyu and from Mount Kenya. So now, when I go to the supermarket, I buy my Dola unga at 3 bob while he has to pay 112 because Uhuru is the president and I’m a Kikuyu!

My mother’s house doesn’t have electricity yet, it is now that we are thinking about pulling resources to get it wired. Maybe I should just ask KPLC to send the invoice to Uhuru — after all, he is the president and I am a Kikuyu — by extension. At least with this one, we choose to agree to disagree to avoid throwing punches. We have come to the conclusion that we will probably never agree on politics and ‘my person’ and ‘his person’, but we will also not scream at each other about it. Actually we consider ourselves friends.

We are supposed to be wise. We are supposed to fight for the peace of this country. But I have witnessed even the most intelligent among us getting all emotional and loud and defensive of their ‘person’. We will soon burn this country to the ground with the fire we are breathing out of our nostrils. And we will have ourselves to blame. I thought 2007/8 was a lesson for us, turns out we will not stop until we out do Rwanda and Congo and Burundi!


While we should not tolerate corruption and all other vices, we have a mandate to maintain peace in this country. You will never see a politicians punching the other, or even their kids burning anything, yet we are here fighting and getting all emotional and protective of ‘our person’. I seriously feel like calling us stupid, but I think Mzalendo Kibunja might still be in office so I wont. Oh, what the heck — we are stupid!

Stupid to think that these politicians have us in their minds when they do and say whatever they do and say. Stupid to destroy properties and businesses that a hustler has built with sweat and blood. We are stupidly pulling each other’s Brazilian weaves and punching daylights out of each other while the politicians wine and dine at break fast prayers (What’s with that, by the way? I thought prayers were food-less, you know, something called ‘fasting’). When did stupidity become cool? I may have political opinions but I will not punch anyone who does not agree with me. If we ever needed to exercise restraint and reason,it is now.

Because South is a horrible place to go.


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